


One In Every Color

by steelrunner



Series: VLD Rare Pair Week 2017 [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Season 2 spoilers, Sex Toys, Shopping Malls, VLD Rare Pair Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-24 04:48:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9702977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steelrunner/pseuds/steelrunner
Summary: Lance, Hunk, and Pidge discover just how popular Voltron is in certain parts of the free universe.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the second prompt of Voltron Rare Pair Week: Lion/Mice - I picked the first option, and stretched it into the most obscene scenario possible.

Pidge had learned not to give up on alien malls. It had taken a little experimenting to get her precious game system up and running, it was true, but since then, she’d come across a few gems in their shopping trips. (Including, but not limited to: food vendors that sold only blue pasta, salons whose curlers doubled as laser weapons, and underground chocolate trading rings.)

And now they had stumbled on Lance’s wet dream.

“I’m dreaming,” Lance whispered. He clutched at Pidge’s arm, not taking his eyes off the store in front of them. "Pidge - tell me I’m not dreaming.”

“You’re not dreaming,” Pidge responded obediently. The storefront was a bright spot of color beside its neighbors, overflowing with merchandise; red, yellow, green, blue, and black banners fluttered from a sign proudly declaring _Form Voltron: Get Your Apparel Today!_

“Holy crow,” Hunk said slowly. "I didn't think we were this popular. Especially in the Empire!"

“Well, we are on the fringes,” Pidge said. She looked around, taking in the dearth of fellow shoppers in this part of the mall. And they were in disguise, even if they weren’t as…elaborately garbed as Coran would prefer. “It’s _probably_ safe to go inside - ”

Lance plunged ahead, all but throwing himself into a stack of of clothing. “This is so damn cool! Hey, look at this - they've got a shirt with Blue on it!"

Pidge followed Hunk through the entryway, into the colorful but cramped shop. There was a ton of clothing in both mundane and alien styles, and she grinned trying to imagine the team in some of them; it wasn’t like they needed to color-coordinate more than they already did. 

Cabinets on the walls held other items, knick-knacks and tools and toys. Pidge made her way over to one that held several action figures of the Lions, Voltron, and even the Castle-ship; several of the details were off, but they were more or less on similar lines. Judging by an advertisement on the wall, the Lions were supposed to merge together to form _Voltron: The Universe’s Most Legendary Defender™ (Now With Articulated Joints and Light-Up Action)!_

“Hey, check this out,” she said. Hunk looked over her shoulder, but leaned away to catch a shirt Lance lobbed at him. He spread it open to show a colorful stencil of the Yellow Lion: just about the right size for him if it hadn't been designed for someone with three arms.

Pidge held up the miniature Green Lion, waving it at him. “Think there are some alien kids somewhere playing with these?”

“Probably.” Hunk held the shirt up to his own chest, the third sleeve flopping awkwardly. “It’s weird to know we have actual ‘fans’ out there.”

“Kinda makes me wonder how many cute girls out there are wearing my gear,” Lance said - _so_ predictably, but he held up a hand as Hunk and Pidge rolled their eyes. “Just because I’m taken doesn’t mean I can’t look. And imagine. Maybe fantasize a little.”

“Keep it up and you’ll be fantasizing about sleeping somewhere other than the couch,” Pidge said. She didn’t mean it. Lance knew that, judging by the irascible smile he gave her. 

Pidge picked up another of the one of the toys, fiddling with it as Hunk and Lance continued to explore the other cabinets. She had just discovered the trick to linking them all up when she heard Hunk suddenly say, “Oh - oh no.”

“Oh _yes_ ,” Lance breathed.

Pidge turned to see Hunk standing in front of another cabinet with a horrified look, holding what looked like a plastic statuette. It was a cylinder shaded in white and yellow, like his lion, and was about as long as her forearm, with a funny curve to it and a flared base. She took another look at Lance’s awestruck expression. What on Earth could make him that happy, she had no idea, unless it had something to do with - unless - “Is that a _Yellow Lion dildo_?”

"Yep!" Lance practically crowed. "Come check this out, they've got one for all of us!"

This, Pidge couldn't miss. She joined them as Lance threw the cabinet door further open, revealing shelves full of gleaming plastic, latex, and leather; true enough, all the objects within were shaded in the lions' distinctive colors. The biggest ones were multicolored. Some of the toys she recognized from her self-appointed sex education on Earth, dildos and plugs and vibrators aplenty, but there were also leashes and whips, and more things that she couldn’t name. 

"But - but why?" Hunk said, his voice a little broken. 

Lance smirked. “Guess all these aliens are really passionate about freedom and justice.”

“That’s just - ” Hunk shook his head. “Of all the things… I mean, what is this even supposed to be? Like, a lion penis?”

“Maybe,” Pidge said. “Not an Earth lion - more cylindrical than conical, and no spikes…”

Silence. Judging, on Hunk’s part, and speculative from Lance.

“Hey, don’t look at me like that!” Pidge said. “Like you guys never Googled weird animal dicks when you were bored.”

“Well, I definitely didn’t memorize all their characteristics,” Hunk huffed. He still didn’t put the dildo down. 

Lance plucked it from his hands instead, holding it up to the light. "Think we should pick up something for Shiro and Keith while we're here? Maybe something to help remove the stick from Keith's ass?"

Pidge snickered despite herself. Hunk just groaned and dragged a hand down his face. “Please tell me you’re not actually thinking about getting that."

“Why not?” Lance said.

Hunk just gave him a look. “To be fair,” Pidge added. “It's not like any of us could fit that thing."

Lance hefted the toy in his hands, seemingly admiring it before giving the two of them a sly look. ”In that case - let's just call it a long-term goal."

**Author's Note:**

> Lance: Hey, if our lions actually had dicks, whose would be the bigg - 
> 
> Hunk and Pidge: Shiro's.


End file.
